By The meditating monk. The lone pilgrim. Retreating from things and people until you’re left alone with your thoughts and prayers, sitting on a pillar in the desert.
Is that what ‘sabbatical’ calls to mind?
I’ve called this little series ‘Unplug’, because there is a right sense in which a sabbatical is a chance to step off the endless escalator of questions, decisions, learning, and preparation. It’s good and healthy to stand back, and see the world with a fresh piece of paper in hand.
But, pastors, God has made us humans in his Trinitarian image. We are created for, and saved for, relationships, by a relational God. Being in relationships (love) is what helps us to thrive. Restoring relationships (love) is a large part of our work.
How can unplugging from relationships be good for us?
So, as you plan a sabbatical, make sure there is a place for good, healthy relationships – in fact, aim to make them healthier.
Make sure there is a place for good, healthy relationships – in fact, aim to make them healthier.
Marriage. We’ve been married for over thirty years now, and it’s a bit of a shock to realise that it’s been decades since we spent extended time together, without the wider family around us. So a significant part of a good sabbatical was going to be a wonderful holiday for just the two of us, in somewhere we’d always wanted to go, with some fun, some empty space, and loads to do when we wanted. We’re neither of us ‘lounge on a beach’ people (we learnt that on honeymoon!), so recharging was going to take some thought.
We planned it more carefully than we’ve planned any other holiday, I think. (If you want the details, we visited northern Italy, round the three big lakes lakes, but taking in some of the major cities as well, and we AirBnB’d it.)
And it was worth it. We didn’t unplug from each other.
Family. Our sons are both young adults, with lives of their own and good relationships with us. So both of them played a part. One was on month-long dog-duty, the other came out to join us for the last few days in Venice.
There are stories and photos, none of which I’ll share here. But once again, a sabbatical wasn’t a season of unplugging from the family.
Friendships. This is the hardest one for me – I’m not brilliant at keeping up with old friends (and some of you will be nodding…) BUT there were intentional times as well, making new friends as well as seeing old ones. A long evening sharing a bottle of single malt. Walks by a river. On a summer afternoon for a wedding where we knew not only many guests, but several of the family as friends, as well as the couple. The delight of meeting someone in person who I’ve only ever known online. And then coming back to a barbecue for our street, and a weekend for church.
If you’re currently single, you’ll know the importance of sustaining and flourishing within family and friendships – take that into account as well as you plan your time.
Fellowship. As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t want to church shop for a season, visiting loads of ‘successful’ models, without engaging properly with other believers. So I temporarily ‘joined’ a nearby church, where I knew the pastor and folk knew I was on sabbatical, and we kept going with our small group from church as well.
Was I on my own, as well? Oh yes. You’ll have found me reading in the library, sketching in a sculpture gallery, thinking and praying. Being by myself was healthy.
But I know myself well enough to know, that staying by myself isn’t. Love, fellowship, sharpening one another, needs other people.
Being by yourself is healthy, but staying by yourself isn’t. Love needs other people.
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