Why Preachers Feel Weary (And What Helps) – part three, our comparisons

Many Christian leaders today feel emotionally exhausted by comparison culture. Social media exposes us to endless examples of gifted preachers, successful ministries, and influential Christian podcasters—and it quietly crushes us. The third in a series on The Weary Pastor – Part I and 2

Why Social Media Exhausts Preachers

I choose my social media feeds with some care.  On Facebook, I have to know you in actual experience before I admit you into my circle of friends.  I don’t live my life online, and I don’t choose to tell all the burglars of north London when Im on holiday, but I’m happy to keep in gentle contact with a number of people who operate in the same kind of way. I’m not working that feed to sell anything, or curate my presence, or any such nonsense.  It’s a virtual catch-up over coffee.

On Instagram, I’m hardly visible, and when I am it’s usually to do with my painting hobby.  Truthfully, I find Insta a dangerously addictive place to hang out, with its infinite scroll, curated and tantalising feed, and gorgeously chosen photos.  I’ll often delete the app, or go black-and-white on my phone, to dilute its power.  

TikTok I don’t do at all.  

Our church does – don’t get me wrong.  These platforms are powerful search engines, and if there’s a chance of doing gospel good, we’ll have a go.  But, not me.  I know myself too well.

But it’s X, Twitter, that gets me weary – and for a dangerous reason.

Again, I curate it with care.  There are some writers and painters I follow, for a bit of inspiration and encouragement.  They’re normally easy.

And there are some Christian leaders, pastors, preachers, writers I follow.  Not many of them, and I’ve chosen each of them quite deliberately to keep my heart soft and warm.  People who speak encouragingly about Christ, and with clarity about sin.  People whose sermons are both an inspiration and an aspiration, who call me to be better, to do better, and who show me how.  

So what goes wrong? Well, here’s the rub.

That series of spiritual heroes makes me compare myself with others.  All the time.  And wewe pastors are not immune to social media burnout

And that is really unhealthy.  As well as exhausting.

If I fill my feed with world-class preachers, each at the top of their game, eventually I will feel crushed.

1 The Trap of Looking Upwards to Role Models

Consider the angles.

These will inevitably be people who have made some kind of mark.  They will preach better than me.  Think more clearly than me. Write more beautifully than me.  Communicate more powerfully than me.

After all, that’s why I follow them.  Craig Groeschel inspires me to preach in a way that grabs the attention of the Instagram generation.  Rick Warren inspires to me be unmissably clear and unwaveringly encouraging. That’s good.

But I need to remember that I only see their very best stuff.  I don’t know if they have a team helping them to prep, but they certainly have a team selecting the best phrase, the most impactful twenty seconds.  I don’t have a problem with that.

If I fill up my feed with an endless succession of world-class preachers at the top of their ministry game, I am going to feel crushed.

Especially on a Monday. It’s not their fault.  It’s my heart which is weary.

2 The Trap of Looking Downwards – the Toxicity of Snark

Here’s a second angle.

I become really snarky.  Super-critical.  Rather than seeking to improve, it’s easier to find the downside in someone else. Rick Warren’s exegesis.  John Piper’s intensity.  Craig Groeschel’s wardrobe.

And so if I’m dwarfed by them, I might cheer myself up by looking at how other churches are doing on YouTube.  Not the famous ones.  The ones down the road.  The ones I can look down on.

3. The Trap of Looking Sideways – Influence

Here’s a third angle.  All the right people seem to know each other.  Put scare quotes round ‘right’ in that sentence.  And ‘seem’ as well.

Where the previous two angles have revealed a toxicity in me, this third angle is a genuine and wider problem.  In order for a book to sell – any book – you need someone else to blurb it for you.  Yes, it’s a verb.  Person X blurbs Author Y who appears with Vlogger Z who then blurbs Person X.

And that’s not just in the secular space – it’s in the desperately thin Christian book-selling space too.  Build a platform, make the connections, grow your influence, spread the book.

Now I’m not stupid.  Publishers need to make a profit to survive, and that means the books have to sell.  And if Piper, Warren or Groeschel wanted to blurb my book I’d be, let’s say, keen.  You know where I am, Craig.

But there’s something in here that makes me wince.  It’s called giving a book, a pod, a blog piece ‘a puff’.  More, a reciprocal puff.  If I call your book ‘mesmerising’, feel free to call mine ‘dazzling’.  Yours is based on ‘rich experience’, if mine is based on ‘decades on ministry’. ‘Spiritually deep’ meets ‘rich and heart-warming’. You know how it goes.

Paul once said about a group of preachers When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise (2 Cor 10:12).

Paul once said about a group of preachers, ‘When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.’

It’s not wise when I look to my heroes – it makes me weary.  It’s not wise when I look for the downside – it makes me weary.  And it’s not wise when I look around to see how I’m doing compared to you – that makes me weary, too.

The Gospel Cure for Comparison Culture

So what’s the answer?  Well it might be to come off one or all those platforms, and if they are the most pressing context for you to experience this, then do that fast.  But I think Paul shows us that the problem is endemic, and that the social media context is merely one form.  Envy and pride, which is what we are really talking about here, are sins which need to be confessed, and so the deep solution is to find satisfaction in Jesus, who provides an infinite amount of what we actually need, which is an accepting grace.  His eternal perfection does not make us envy him.  His victory and reign do not dwarf ours – they render ours irrelevant. His love does not pick holes, look for downsides, or make us feel small.

On the small chance that this is not just me, can I encourage you to see clearly what the issue is, and what feeds it.  If you do admire a particular communicator, then don’t trivialise them by just seeing their smartest stuff.  Give yourself a day to do a deep dive into their style, and work out what it is you admire, how they put together what you find so impactful, strip out the lessons you can transfer across to your study – and then walk away. You will have then learnt what you need to learn, and how to change.

If you find yourself looking down on other churches and ministries, then again do a deep dive.  They’ll be in a different ministry context to you, so what would you do in their shoes, with their resources?  What would they do in yours, with yours?  How might they be fresh where you are stale? Maybe replace that snark with praying for them, or if you know them, writing an encouraging email.  

And if you find yourself in a context of mutual back-scratching then maybe find a way to walk away with integrity.

Friends, the wonderful work of ministry can be a burden, one that makes with weep with frustration, and beat our heads at our foolishness and inability to say what we ought. To be a preacher is a glorious privilege, but it comes at the cost of carrying the cross.

There’s no need to make it harder for ourselves.

Have you experienced the comparison culture? How have you addressed it? You know the drill – pile in!